Surprises

For those of you that I just keep forgetting to tell, we are pregnant. ( I surprised a lady in one of my home school groups, when she asked who was reading the pregnancy book on the table, oops). I am due in early October, meaning that it is possible this baby could share Nina's birthday (9/29). We had always said that if we happened to get pregnant again that would be fine with us, though we were not trying. We were very comfortable with our eight years of birth control success. This is actually the first child we are having that was not planned, which sort of threw our personal God-complexes for a loop. But now we are in the driver's seat again and very excited to meet our new one. Especially me, because I am not a very good pregnant person. I have been nauseous, but not as bad as with Evan and Nina. I am able to control it by snacking on what my body tells me to basically every other minute of the day. I am so sick of eating. It's not like I can have burgers or pizza. My body throws a conniption fit at the sight of them. Then I get completely scatterbrained: I forgot to buy bread, I lost my phone. Then get moody, and tired. Poor Todd has been such a good sport. He has cleaned the kitchen more often, made sure I got my naps, and gave up sex when I was completely exhausted.

We are planning a home birth. This time I am much better prepared than I was with Evan's. I think this midwife is much better than the one who did such a terrible job delivering Evan. My current midwife has 15 years of experience and has even delivered her own children. I just got done reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", and Ina May completely and very specifically addressed the difficulties that I had with both Evan's and Nina's birth. I wish I had that book earlier, but better late than never. I am determined to have this baby here, for financial as well as other reasons. I have been determined before and that, in and of itself, does not get the job done. With Evan's birth I was determined to show all of the people who said I was crazy to have birth without painkillers that I could do it. That didn't work, but I am more grateful that the hospital was available to give Evan the help he needed than ashamed that I didn't get my part of the job done. My mantra for this pregnancy and labor is "RELAX". Stress is something that, as I am learning to let go of tension and take deep belly breaths, I realize I live very little of my life without. Stress is my companion and motivator, which is why Todd has put my favorite songs on my phone so I can practice tuning out the world, and being calm. Wow, what an experience.