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Waiting For Superman

My Journal

2/15/14


Today I don't want to be introspective. I want to just be superficial, which is kind of different for me, not in an arrogant way, just in a factual way. I thought it was interesting when I read an article about a guy who decided to follow Ben Franklin's schedule for a day. Ben left time for study and to deal with spiritual things. The author said he almost never did that, and it was an interesting thing for him to do. Thinking about big things like God and purpose and why we are here and doing research into those questions is something I grew up doing and something I do all the time. How can you not wonder about that? How can you just go through life and just go to work, come home, be with your someone, party sometimes and that is it. That is satisfying? Really? Don't you wonder about things as a whole? Don't you wonder why we are here or how, or do you just take science's or God's word for it and leave it at that. I guess in a way you could have more of your emotional energy available to fritter away on personal drama. That might be interesting. I know it is kind of a weight on me to wonder about my, and our purpose, to wonder what or who else is out there, and it is a huge itch I am just dying to scratch to see everything as it really is. I used to think I would just go to heaven and God would explain it all to me and I could live with that. Now I am not so sure I will ever know, and ugh, that is annoying.

But to live without that burden, to me is to live in a closet. To live in the small world of what I see now. I just need to get out into the air and breath and wonder, and make wild guesses and hope. So with that comes the burden of what I don't know, of making choices and just not knowing if they are the right ones because I can't have all the information. I can't see past death or into the new millennium, so I have to make some of my best guesses blind.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Young Man Evan, and Minecraft


Evan was a creeper (from Minecraft) for Halloween. He has been a video game character for Halloween every year since he was three. As a side note Arin was Saber Tooth and Nina was a teen Rock Star/Vampire (notice the eye-roll, perfect with her costume, don't you think?)




Evan is beginning to do that growing up thing where you can't just throw a lego kit at him for his birthday, and make him jump for joy. (Ironically, though, you can still give him cardboard and make him excited, go figure). Now he is entering older kid territory. He is obsessed with Minecraft, but he already bought a minecraft guy, so now there is no expense. There is no obvious way we can spend money to buy his happiness. What do we do? Todd thought about buying Evan a program so he could make youtube videos of his minecraft experience, but then he realized it was free. We thought about buying him a headset with a microphone so he could record the videos, then we realized we already owned one. So Evan's birthday came (Hence the Minecraft cake-type conglomeration). He had a great party where a few friends brought over their own computers. Everyone interacted in the virtual world and the real world simultaneously, yelling across the room, while mining in the same cave on the computers. But Evan never unwrapped a present or from us or asked for one, until about a week later, when Evan realized he didn't get a present. I mentioned that Daddy had intended to set him up to make a video, and Evan held Dad accountable. The video happened, and I think both Evan and Dad were equally excited. Evan, because he could share his love of Minecraft, and Dad, because, since Evan will probably not be a motocross superstar, there is still a chance he could make a fortune making youtube videos. In real life we are all proud of Evan. Also in real life we know very well that some of the best things in life are free or intangible things. That is why Nina's present was a trip to Greensboro, along with her pair of cool shoes. Evan's gift included time with Daddy, which the kids always value, and as a bonus, the record of that time will live on in the form a video intro to Minecraft.



PS. Whatever your motives, Notch, thanks for creating a game that inspires my kids to creativity and teamwork, even if it is addicting.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Desert Rose



Lots of people feel alone as teenagers. They are misunderstood by their parents, and have trouble fitting in at school. I felt alone, too. The primary culprits in my situation were introverted parents and religion. If you know me you know what a nerd I am about certain things, and it has always been this way. Back when I was a teen, I wasn't into drugs, smoking, drinking, sex. I had personal daily devotions. My biggest critique of the other Christians around me was that they did not live their beliefs. Not even my parents were as diligent with their quiet times as I was. My parents wanted me to hang out with Christian friends, because we shared belief in God. I wanted to hang out with my secular friends because we shared similar morals. My Christian friends were drinking and partying (not that my parents knew this), whereas my secular friends were either not doing those activities, or were perfectly open to my not doing them. I know that I had a good life, then. I had my own room, I had food, I wasn't mistreated. I was a good girl, and even the "rebellious" things I did were really laughable. I asked questions, I "ran away" once, but since I didn't have friends to hang with, and I didn't feel like sleeping in a field in the cold, I didn't last more than a few hours. I snuck out to a pg-13 movie and a battle of the bands. What a trouble maker. My parents didn't understand that I was a good girl, and, partially because of my actions, and partially because I was a girl in a family with an archaic gender value system, I was the black sheep. So this song became my theme. I would blast it in my room, and sing and dance to it. It moved me. I knew God would one day reward me. My time would come when I would have friends, love, and a full satisfying life that would make a difference. I have that life now, though it doesn't look like I would have imagined it then. God has rewarded me, though my concept of who or what that is has evolved a great deal. I thank God daily for what I have, because I feel a deep need to express gratitude somehow. This song is still special to me because I remember the time when I felt God was the only one who really knew me. I don't know what I would have done at that time without my idea of who that was then.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Environmentalism as Religion




I love Earth. I think it is a great place to live, especially since I don't know of any other "Class M" planets within a reasonable distance to compare it to if I wanted to escape it. In reality though, I have as cushy a life as I could ask for, and I would love to ensure the same for my children and theirs. So I do care about the environment in the sense that I don't prefer worldwide annihilation within the next few generations. I teach my kids to pick up their trash. We have changed to compact fluorescent bulbs. We fill up the recycle bin. We re-use paper. Taking care of the earth is very nice at that involvement level. Many people worldwide however, have turned environmentalism into something entirely different, however. It would mean little to me if this only affected random far-spread cults. I see this belief system in people I meet daily, however, and I think that this perspective on environmental issues can hurt the earth, and science as a whole. The problem is clearly laid out in Michael Crichton's video, and also in this article by Robert Nelson, and this short blurb from the New York Times

My main point against environmentalism as religion is this: to truly solve a problem as complex as helping the earth to stay clean and life-supporting, we need to be able to pursue solutions that are truly beneficial in every aspect. In its present state, the environmental, sustainable movement, is so ensnarled in popular opinion, politics, and merchandising, that no one can get a clear idea of what is truly helping and what is hurting. Politicians say the right environmental thing so special interest groups will continue to fund them. Grocery stores and construction companies continue to sell high priced alternative items that say they are good for the environment, and people continue to ease their conscience by sacrificing a bit of extra money for what they consider to be the greater good. Maybe they are better for the environment. Where money is involved how can we know for sure? How environmentally conscious a person is has become an easy measure of their value in society. The problem becomes very apparent when huge amounts of money are sunk into technologies that are lovely in theory, but amount to crap in real life. I absolutely think we should be thinking about alternatives to all the fuel we consume, but if solar power in its present state is not a viable alternative we should be allowed to acknowledge that. If we are better off as far as money, pollution and waste is concerned, throwing plastic bottles in a landfill rather than trying to recycle them, or deluding the public into thinking they are being recycled, the environmental religion will not allow us to say so, lest we be black balled and proclaimed planet-haters or something. For science to work well: for real advancements to be made, we must be allowed to speak the truth. We must be allowed to be creative and think of things that would truly help on all levels. I think buying fewer plastic bottles, especially water bottles, would absolutely help the environment on most levels. Recycling them after I use them? I don't know if it is truly viable. Solar power, wind power, hydro power, these are all very nice thoughts, and they are all very good ideas, and in certain circumstances, like Hoover Dam, for instance, they work very well, but for these great ideas to be brought about into truly useful technologies we must be able to be honest. Solar and wind power are really in their infancy, and a lot of work will need to go into making them truly useful on the large scale. Possibly so much work that we would be better off trying to make the electronic devices we use more efficient first.

The truth is at stake if we believe every banana peel we put in the compost bin will save the earth. The truth is what will lead to real solutions, and no dogmatic, organized, unquestioning group of people will ever be able to absorb the sometimes messy, unbecoming, contradictory things that surface when one truly wants to know the truth. No religion likes too many questions, and without hard questions we won't get real answers.