SNOW!

We finally got enough snow to make snow cream. Interestingly enough Nina went out in the the snow to cut the daffodils that were blooming on the hill. What season is it again? If you are wondering where Arin is in the pictures, he is the smart one. He only went outside for a couple of minutes to appease the rest of us and get us to quit asking him if he wanted to go outside. I didn't have my camera for those few minutes. Nina, on the other hand, spent 30 minutes moaning about how frozen her feet were when she finally came in. 

We had an awesome snow. I even enjoyed a few quiet moments in front of the window with my coffee and a book. Bliss, for me.  

African American Childhood: Part Two, Exhibit A

Just a note about this. Whether you can tell or not I have been agonizing over the language of this blog entry for quite a while. I wanted it to be kind, fair, and yet still say something real. I hope it accomplishes that, and if it doesn't, please have mercy. I mean well.

Part 2: Exhibit A

I feel that before I delve into what this book (See previous entry) says about African American childhood you need to know a bit about exhibit A: me. A white female raised in suburban America. The reason that is important is that my race and that of African Americans has a pretty touchy history here in the good old US of A. My race has historically severely mistreated African Americans. As for me personally I have never really heard a racial slur, let alone used one or had one used on me. The exception to this has been hearing African American males refer to each other as "niggers", which I don't think really counts as a slur, and Tim Minchin referring to himself as a Ginger, which again seems to negate the title of "racial slur". There was one racially motivated walk-out of African Americans in our high school which turned out to be a misunderstanding, and another walk out which turned out to be a media stunt and a ploy by African American students to get out of class, or so the rumors went. As for my part in these, I attended a meeting hosted by a race relations specialist that we were allowed to skip a class to attend, and when the school hired a full time race relations counselor I interviewed him for the school paper. Almost 100% of the minorities in my high school were bussed into suburbia from an urban setting, meaning that my chances of running into them around town were extremely remote. You can see that I have had limited exposure growing up to minorities in general and racism specifically. When I left suburbia I did what I could to rectify my ignorance, but I have to admit that whatever I did to acquaint myself with the African American plight was seen through my white female eyes. My whiteness colors every memory with a vague glow of innocence, and unawareness. I have read that the African American experience is often shadowed by much different overtones.

I struggle with what to do with the terrible past our country has with relation to our treatment of African Americans as well as the state of their culture today. I wonder what their future will hold. I wonder what my role will be in that and what, as a white female I should think and do when it comes to furthering the well-being of the African American community as a whole. I am a little at a loss. What should my role as an individual be? Personally, I feel like I don't look at people when I meet them and just see race. I see people. I seek out meaningful interactions with people of all kinds, and if those are based on mutual interests and intellectual stimulation, rather than on pigmentation I feel that is fair, but is it?

As far as the African American historical experience goes, I feel an overwhelming sense of awe about it. Awe in the sense that from my cushy perspective I cannot imagine a race of people being so selectively chosen and altered all in my own backyard. The quotes I listed from the book remind me that people, whether an entire race of them, or individuals, can't be subjected to long-term abuse and bounce back immediately after attaining freedom to the thinking and actions of non-abused people. Recovery is especially slow when the abusers continue to put up roadblocks to growth, healing, and even safety. Even though progress has been made, I think we are all still reeling from the massive importation of Africans to this country for the purpose of slavery. For better or worse I believe the imprint of those beginnings are still being felt now. The African American race has grown and changed in an immensely positive way with each generation. European Americans have grown as well, I believe. Just as one person can't change another on a whim, I don't believe groups of people can change each other fundamentally. Past slave owners couldn't just kill the desire for autonomy in slaves, and now I don't believe I and other Caucasians can permanently change the pregnancy or crime rate in any other race just by barging in and meddling. Maybe now the changes in both races need to happen from the inside out. So here I am, exhibit A: suburban white girl. Maybe the best I can do is to continue to accept as equals and friends those from the African American community who come my way just as I would anyone from any other race. Maybe the future can still be equally bright for all of us together if the proper time and environment is given to heal and grow.

African American Childhood: Part One

I found the chapter in the book "American Childhoods" by Joseph E. Illick that talked about African American childhoods interesting for a number of reasons, one of which being that he said come things that were politically incorrect but factually deducible. I love that kind of bravery. Now understandably any view of history is not without its bias so you can say what you will about that. I also feel that I learned some things about the slave experience and the children who suffered through it. I want to present my thoughts on the chapter of African American childhood in two sections. One will be primarily quotes from the chapter that I found very informative, and would like to pass on. I may toss in a few ideas, but most of my ideas will be given in part two, which I am still refining.



pg. 41 "The grim picture shows that the slave family, extended or nuclear, was always vulnerable and that most fathers did not live with their children." This strikes me as eerily similar to the make-up of many African American households, today.

pg. 41 " Certainly slave children saw their parents (but not their white peers) beaten, and their parents in turn beat them - whether because this was traditional practice or to prepare them for their adult lives." This trend is common in families who experience domestic violence. A child who is abused often becomes the abuser in the next generation. How much more must this be the case when a whole race inflicts such treatment on a whole other race.

pg. 43 "This was not a world parents could explain to children , much less justify except as the will of the Lord"

pg. 44 " Richard Wright (author of 'Black Boy: A Record of Childhood and Youth' (New York, 1945)) described his boyhood in a household filled with acrimony and violence; he was alternately preached to and beaten."

pg. 44 " Illegitimate births were common before first marriages; mother and child almost always remained in the grandparental household, which served as a secure social setting for the child or children until the mother made a stable marriage. The first child was the most fondled and stimulated and often became the most self-confident and capable, illegitimate or not."

pg. 46 " African American childhood in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries was profoundly affected by the social context of slavery and its aftermath."

pg. 46 "It was enunciated by George Wallace, a segregationist when he began his four terms (elected in 1962, 1970, 1974, 1982) as Governor of Alabama, who reportedly gave barracks lectures during World War II defending his white supremacy position: ' I don't hate them., The coloreds are fine in their place, but they're just like children and it's not something that's going to change. It's written in stone,' It did change, and Wallace recanted. Nevertheless, the idea of African Americans as children has had a history in America dating from the mid-nineteenth century."

pg. 46 " Historian Thomas Webber argues that the planter class aimed to have slaved internalize values which would make them conscious of their own inferiority, 'overflowing with awe, respect and childlike affection for the planter and his family.' happily aware of the rules of slave behavior and convinced that slavery was not only right, but the best of all possible worlds. Slaves were kept ignorant of the outside world and the written word, denied privacy, forbidden to recall their African past, and refused the very privileges that defined their white counterparts as adults.
While Webber argues that most of the values attitudes, and understandings taught by white masters were not accepted by black slaves, he concedes that one must look deep into the slave literature to reach this conclusion. In other words, even if slaves were not convinced by their masters, they had to disguise their true beliefs. How long this masquerade persisted, whether it still goes on, is a matter of debate. But whichever side of the issue is taken, it seems that African American's eventually fulfilled the expectations of the European Americans who wanted to perceive them as perpetual children."

pg. 49 " A turning point in the understanding of black male character came in 1941 when anthropologist Melville Herskovits published "The Myth of the Negro Past". Herskovitz accused scholars and policy makers of basing their work on myths that supported racial prejudice, the first one of which was 'Negroes are naturally of a childlike character,' Pointing to the sophistication of an African worldview, he concluded that' such maladjustments to the American scene as characterize Negro life are to be ascribed largely to the social and economic handicaps these folks have suffered, rather than to any inability to cope with the realities of life.'"

pg.49 "The courage demonstrated by African Americans during the ensuing civil rights struggle surprised most white Americans, as indeed it should have. The long and concerted effort to marginalize blacks and rationalize such treatment on the basis of their being essentially simple , weak, and vulnerable was confounded by their willingness to confront their enemies at lunch counters, schools and courthouses, to create public demonstration where sometimes their very lives were at stake."

pg. 50 "This was not the first generation of African Americans to want freedom, nor the first generation of European Americans to resist granting it. But encouraged by federal action in the armed services and in the courts, not to mention the attention showered on these steps forward and their consequences on television, these black youths were able to act on beliefs long and deeply held."

One of the things I was most reminded of is that the steps that African Americans have taken in fighting for equality were begun not long ago. The last quote was referring to school desegregation that occurred in the 1960's: only 50 years ago. I keep thinking that we are very distanced from the time of blatant segregation, just because I don't remember it being blatant in my lifetime, but that is not actually the case. There will be more about African American culture and me in part two so stay tuned.

Native American Childhood

Many months ago I read a fascinating book called American Childhoods by Joseph E. Illick. He looked at childhood from a variety of walks of American historical life. The book prompted me to think about many aspects of childrearing and I want to share some of my thoughts, beginning with thoughts on the first chapter about Native American Childhood.

Quote from explorer Charlevoix, page 9: “The children of the Indians after leaving off the use of the cradle, are under no sort of confinement, and as soon as they are able to crawl about on hands and feet are suffered to go stark naked where-ever they have a mind, through woods, water, mire and snow; which gives them strength and agility, and fortifies them against the injuries of the air and weather...In the summer time they run the moment they get up to the next river or lake, where they remain a great part of the day playing.”

One of the aspects of Native American childrearing that most impressed me was the period after age three when they were weaned and let loose in the world. I can’t imagine, in my busy suburban neighborhood allowing my three or five year old to wander freely, naked in all weather. For one thing the traffic would surely do him in , But beside that the expectation of society would result in my child being taken from me.
When I think of open country with space to roam and a lack of monstrous vehicles driven by careless people I can imagine the joy and education of children romping to the nearby lake. The Indians understood that children’s work was play and they consented not to hinder it.
The lack of clothing in cold or heat is also fascinating to me. Their aim was to toughen up their children and some have theorized this attitude led to an active healthy lifestyle even into old age. I think of the pains we American suburban parents go to to ease our children's discomfort in cold and hot weather. “Wear your mittens, and jacket” or “Don’t be out in the sun too much” we might say. Understandably some of these activities like drinking lots of water in sunshine and sunscreen are common sense reactions to advances in health care and science. But another thing science has taught us is that cold weather does not cause illness. Maybe our children should be allowed to go without a hat if they wish or wear shorts when it’s 50 degrees. It seems to me very likely the greatest injury that may occur is the odd glances that others in society would give us because of the widespread norm that children should be kept from our version of discomfort even when they insist on it.
It seems the Native American childrearing response stemmed from a knowledge of the demands of their environment rather than layers of superficial expectation as we are constrained by today.


Another part of Native American parenting that I found interesting was their view on discipline.

From page 10-11:

“ Seventeenth and eighteenth-century Europeans explained the absence of corporal punishment from the Native American practice as a consequence of the fear that a child so humiliated would commit suicide or, recalling the act in adulthood would seek revenge on his or her parents. Contemporary historians have found other motives. George Pattitt cited as the “ chief inhibition... the fact that pain per se cannot be used as a fear -producing, coercive force in a social milieu which placed a premium upon ability to stand pain and suffering without flinching.” Furthermore, he suggests that children must feel protected from punishment by their families, that children are specially linked to the spiritual world and as such receive kindness and respect, and that the patience and stoicism fostered by life in the cradleboard makes an Indian child “amenable to an early training, so strongly marked by indulgence.”

It was thought that Native American parents preferred to lead by example and feared inciting rebellion in their children with actions of overt oppression on their part. It’s debatable wether there was rebellion or there should have been, but one attribute I see in Native American family life that I think could significantly contribute to strengthening family ties and decreasing rebellion is respect from parent to children. This is a trait almost completely lacking in modern society. Who knows what the affect of widespread implementation would be. Modern children are relegated from birth to a world notably different and secondary to the world of adults. They are put into classes and spoken down to by teachers with little time to think or play. It seems that Native American children interacted with a variety of generations of children and at an early age were contributing in a real, albeit age appropriate way to the family. This gave them purpose and a feeling of being connected and valuable to their family. Very often modern children feel either like an inconvenience to their families or entitled to the services their families provide them. They are forced to behave according to myriad standards they may not see an immediate purpose for or constrained in houses they are not free in because of adult areas and furnishings. I don't suggest living in tents and forcing young girls to collect sticks and boys to kill animals. What I do suggest is to the extent we can, allow children to participate in a real way in our households by doing age appropriate chores.

As Native American children grew there were definitely fewer options of where their lives would lead than our children have today. These options were largely limited by sex and ritual often accompanied milestones for men and women. These are things I have no desire for our society to return to. But as far as the treatment of the young, I think we can take a few lessons from them. Respect children’s questions and ask important ones to them in return. Allow unscheduled time for them to discover who they are and what they like. Our world provides so many more opportunities than the native American world, that knowing themselves at a young age will help immensely to get them started toward a life they will love before distractions set in. School and sports represent only a small portion of what real life has to offer and it is an injustice that children are raised with such a narrow perspective on life.