Obsessing

Me and my sometimes obsession

Arin and his current obession

It’s not that a person’s vocabulary is tied directly to their value, but I do love the moment when my seven year old is praying before a meal and he uses “beautiful” correctly in a sentence…twice. I recently dusted off our ancient ornate-looking dictionary because Evan drew a picture for his daily journal and used the words “lego creations” just so he could look up the “c” word in it. Very exciting stuff to me. There are a multitude of reasons I love having my kids with me so much. One of them being encouraging thier vocabulary, and another the things I get to discuss with them at oddball teachable moments.

One such moment with Arin recently combined the two. Arin has sort of an obsessive personality and when he is interested in something it can consume him. This is what happened when he was introduced to the X-men. If you happen to have owned a Klingon dictionary, or have attended a convention wearing the clothing of your other personality you may understand this way of thinking. Arin could talk endlessly to anyone about this one topic. His spare time was rarely spent without his plastic superhero companions.

When I finished my marathon in November I found myself strangely physically attached to my finisher’s medal. It was hard to put down for the next week, and each time I rubbed it my face fell into a dreamy smile. I explained to Arin that I was obsessing over my medal, similar to the way he obsessed over the X-men. I got over the medal after the first week and began leaving it at home. Then one day a few weeks later I spied it again and it filled me with pride. I took it to the car and hung it from the rearview mirror as I was packing kids and snacks into the van. Fifteen minutes into our drive I heard Arin’s voice “Mom, are you obsessing, again?” I laughed and admitted to Arin that he caught me. He loved the attention of me retelling the story to Grandma and Grandpa so much that “obsessing” is now a permanent part of his vocabulary.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

A while back I finished reading this book, and I have meant to share some quotes I found particularly meaningful from the book. The book was interesting to me, some parts more than others. I liked Robert Pirsig's insight into college-level education. Some of the transitions between real life and past life were somewhat abrupt, but overall I liked it.

Pg 114: He felt that institutions such as schools, churches, governments, and political organizations of every sort all tended to direct thought for ends other than truth, for the perpetuation of their own functions, and for the control of individuals in the service of these institutions.

Pg 146: You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.

Pg 187: Schools teach you to imitate. If you don't imitate what the teacher wants you get a bad grade. Here, in college, it was more sophisticated. Of course, you were supposed to imitate the teacher in such a way as to convince the teacher you were not imitating, but taking the essence of the instruction and going ahead with it on you own...

Pg 199: To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here's where things grow. But of course without the top you can't have any sides. It's the top that defines the sides.

Pg 206: What he's looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn't want that because it is all around him. Every step's an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.

Of course some of these quotes are controversial, but most of them make you think, whether you agree with them or not. If you find these intriguing you may want to check out the book. Keep in mind these quotes were little nuggets taken from among 418 pages of text. I did learn some about philosophy, and a bit about motorcycles, though since I have been riding on the back of my husband's for years, I had pretty good insight into that part.

Halloween pictures

The kids had a lot of opportunities to dress up this year. The first came at our local library's Halloween storytime and trick or-treat around the library. Todd took the kids and a friend and they ran into another friend or two there. The organizer of our main homeschool group put together a play for the kids to perform at a local retirement center, then again at a senior center. They got to wear their costumes, use lots of props and sing some cute songs, besides the added benefit of allowing the kids to mingle with the senior citizens at the performances. It was a great experience and the kids had alot of fun. We actually did go trick-or-treating, too. Our subdivision doesn't have much activity Halloween night so we went to Wake Forest to hang out with a friends family who has a hoppin neighborhood Halloween night. Wow, what fun we had this season. If you don't recognize the boys, Arin is Cyclops, one of the X-men with laser eyes that Todd fashioned for him from an old laser level. Evan is continuing his streak four years running of being a video game character. First was Luigi, then Mario, then Starfox, and this year he was Toad.

Some thoughts on Spirituality

I understand completely that some people are wired for spirituality while others are not as much. This has nothing to do with church attendance. Those who don't have many, or any peak experiences spiritually can be just as attached to the church in the logical and legalistic sense as others are in the emotional sense. I have the "God gene", while my husband does not. I lift my hands during praise choruses and float away to a world of real feeling entirely apart from the present. He forces himself to mouth the words, then later will carry on a lively debate over some nuance of spiritual knowledge.

I remember one strong instance as a child. I was in our dim bathroom at night, staring at my shadowed reflection over the dull glow of a nightlight. I was saying in my head"I could have been a dog. I could have been a tree. I could have been a fly" I was stirring amazement that God had determined I would be one of the most complex creatures on the planet. I intensely concentrated on these thoughts when, Boom! I came to a place of utter astonishment: a feeling of such awe I can't describe. The moment was so intense that I can't even fully remember it. I just know it was amazing. Other times I tried to repeat this scenario with only limited success in reaching a similar outcome.

To this day, mostly when I am in nature, alone and quiet, I can commune with the spiritual in a way that almost stops time. I sense I can reach thought the living, non-thinking Earth into the unknown life of space, of God. These moments are very real. They seem more important than life. When I have been able to stay in these moments my thinking has been clearer than in regular life. Things fell into place. I gained confidence, peace, I learned valuable truths. This is quite a responsibility for me. An insanity most people won't understand. It's significance is mysterious even to me. But it is part of my experience and has vastly affected who I have become, and the path I have followed. Where to follow this sense I have now, and what exactly this God is I'm following is overwhelming to consider.

Beach Pictures

Nina had her 4th (5 year old) birthday party with a rocket ship cake and her aunts and uncles gathered around.

Uncle Seth is on the right

Below right is Nina opening a couple present for her party

Arin and cousin Heidi

Todd put these pictures together for me and snuck in one of me. Oh well

All of the kids helped to bury uncle Dustin

Nina playing in St. Augustine on the way back.

This is all of the kids eating lunch on the anchored boat we rented

Evan helped Daddy drive the boat.

Beach Pictures

And for now there are five

I apologize for the long break between posts. The interruption started early in September when I got a call asking if we would be interested in the possible foster placement of two girls, 1 and 2. I went to a meeting later in the week to see if they would be coming into care, and after a long day in a stuffy board room, I brought the girls home.

Getting used to the girls has been an adjustment, but getting used to the system that brought them to us has been interesting as well. I am realizing that "the system" runs on a somewhat different set of values than I do. Some of this is out of necessity, some convenience and some habit. I try to keep in mind the greater good. That beyond the importance of matching socks and proper snack food in the diaper bag we are allowed the opportunity to help these girls at an important time in their lives.

It is a fascinating and rewarding, if exhausting at times, experience. I care very much for the girls we have in our home, and I very dearly want the best for them and their birth family, whatever that may mean.