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Waiting For Superman

My Journal

2/15/14


Today I don't want to be introspective. I want to just be superficial, which is kind of different for me, not in an arrogant way, just in a factual way. I thought it was interesting when I read an article about a guy who decided to follow Ben Franklin's schedule for a day. Ben left time for study and to deal with spiritual things. The author said he almost never did that, and it was an interesting thing for him to do. Thinking about big things like God and purpose and why we are here and doing research into those questions is something I grew up doing and something I do all the time. How can you not wonder about that? How can you just go through life and just go to work, come home, be with your someone, party sometimes and that is it. That is satisfying? Really? Don't you wonder about things as a whole? Don't you wonder why we are here or how, or do you just take science's or God's word for it and leave it at that. I guess in a way you could have more of your emotional energy available to fritter away on personal drama. That might be interesting. I know it is kind of a weight on me to wonder about my, and our purpose, to wonder what or who else is out there, and it is a huge itch I am just dying to scratch to see everything as it really is. I used to think I would just go to heaven and God would explain it all to me and I could live with that. Now I am not so sure I will ever know, and ugh, that is annoying.

But to live without that burden, to me is to live in a closet. To live in the small world of what I see now. I just need to get out into the air and breath and wonder, and make wild guesses and hope. So with that comes the burden of what I don't know, of making choices and just not knowing if they are the right ones because I can't have all the information. I can't see past death or into the new millennium, so I have to make some of my best guesses blind.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Cinnamon rolls







Yeast and I don't often get along. That, or I somehow always get the yeast that underachieves. Early in our marriage I discovered I didn't have the touch. When I saw how much time I had to invest at something that didn't give me much satisfaction or anything edible in return I decided to turn to other pursuits, like trying to get to all the toilets before they were grodey.

So you may understand that it was no small endeavor when I decided to take on a cinnamon roll recipe that included my nemesis, yeast. The way Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond described her Cinnamon Rolls I felt all warm and and comfortable, like a person in a blanket sleeper with a blanket and a good book in front of a fire with a light snow outside and, well you get the idea: basically the ultimate in warm fuzzy contentment. I wanted that, and I was willing to risk an encounter with yeast to get it. So on Arin's birthday, Nina helped me as we mixed up the dough. I checked every few minutes to see if it was rising. It was. I was afraid it wouldn't stop and would engulf the kitchen like a dough monster. What was supposed to make 16 servings(I doubled the original recipe), ended up making ten pans of 6-8 cinnamon rolls each. Needless to say we are well supplied with them for the rest of the year. They do taste really good! They are so sweet, in fact, that I start getting a sugar overdose about halfway through one. We did it! Thanks, Ree! And for those who want to bring all the warm fuzziness home, as well as a good coating of flour all over the floor (Wow, that was a mess) here is the link. Tell Ree I sent you. (She is a pretend friend of mine in my own mind since I read her book)

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