Toddlers Present and Past

These creatures are lovely, really. Completely cute in their moments. But let me tell you there is nothing that does me in like being responsible for one, or more than one, every day, all day, every minute of the day, and night, and wee hours of the morning and every nanosecond in between. Because I swear that in my most recent toddler's life I have been needed at least once in every single one of the aforementioned time frames. There is nothing like it. I remember pulling all-nighters in college. Hey, I even remember the all-nighter when 30 minutes before class the next day all the work I had done didn't save, and I had to beg mercy for more time to re-do it. But none of that is like the stress of being responsible for a little being that finds all manner of risky things and runs with them, that cries for no reason other than wanting more attention when all you are doing is getting him food, that loves to do nothing more than stripping every toilet paper roll he finds, and drown his bagels in the tub.

Yes, I know, you have heard this on every mommy blog everywhere. But that is because it is simply amazing. How can one little being require so much attention? How can they be fascinated by so many things that require mommy to clean up or unplug? How can that fire truck ride-on toy he got for christmas occupy so little of his time?

Maybe that is what inspires so much pride in moms who make it through. Nothing in my life was more taxing than seeing my kids through their toddler years. But I did it, five, going on six possibly going on a couple more times, and then I will retire from toddlerhood. And I will require my pension. I will be on easy street. I will be able to breath. I honestly find I forget to sometimes these days. I hit a momentary lull and find my body completely tense, and then I breath. I have even taught Nina the joys of the cleansing breath. I have been trying to teach Arin that for years. He is the one who truly needs it, but he has chosen to find his own path to relaxation, not Mommy's.

I realize that if I had not made it through the previous toddlerhoods in my house, I would not have the great helpers I now have in my bigger kids. As a matter of fact I plan on hiring them this afternoon to cage the whirlwind for me so mommy can sleep. That is the thing that my precious jewel didn't allow me to do completely last night, or the night before, or any night since he was born.

Counter Clockwise

I have control issues. I really like the idea that I can affect my future, and that I am not just a victim of chance or predestination. Therefore a book like "Counter Clockwise" is right up my alley. The book is written by a member of the Psychology department at Harvard, who has authored many books and received multiple awards during her distinguished carreer. This is a woman I can trust. In this book Ellen J. Langer proposes that being mindful, as in being observant of details, and actually seeing the present truth, rather than being held hostage to preconceived notions and stereotypes, can affect our health in a very real and measurable way. While I guessed this might have been true, the birth of Cory convinced me it was so. Having my mind in the right place with the right thoughts absolutely made the difference between a two day and 5 hour labor to me. Sure there were other factors involved, but the difference my thoughts made were amazing.

Langer did some studies among the elderly. One major study she undertook was among a population of senior citizens that she took on a retreat. She divided the participants in to two groups. The first group spent a week reminiscing about what life was like for them in 1959. They looked at that year as a moment in their past whereas her experimental group looked at 1959 as if they were living it presently. The people involved in carrying out the study were carful to make sure everything that was part of the week was from 1959, from the magazines, to the tv shows, to the discussions. By the end of the week, both groups present showed measurable signs of improvement in hearing and memory, but the group that was fully immersed in the idea of 1959 being the present showed more improvement in areas like joint flexibility, height, weight, and many even improved their scores on intelligence tests.


Langer found that when hotel cleaning staff were informed that their job satisfied the CDC's recommendations for an active lifestyle they lost weight and improved their health, just by being mindful of their work. Langer also took issue with the language used when referring to the condition of cancer patients. She noted that it is possible that merely telling someone they have a terminal disease, may deprive them of the hope they need to conquer it. She also encourages everyone to think outside of the traditional medical box, ask questions, and realize that when it comes to health there are few hard and fast paths to follow.


In short, this book is full of studies and ideas that make the thoughts floating through our brains seem more than random ideas, but a power that can be harnessed. Langer indicates in her book, however that these ideas are not necessarily a fountain of youth, or a cure for cancer, they are more like an aid, a vitamin. While being mindful about our health may actually physically help us, it will at worst at least give us hope, and help us to make the most of the time we have.

Market Day

This post is so late as to be rather irrelevant chronologically, yet the idea behind it was so good I am determined to post it. In December, before Christmas, one of the homeschool groups we belong to hosted a day they call Market Day. The idea for this activity is to allow the kids to sell, trade or buy items. It gives the kids a chance to acquire things for themselves or for others for Christmas. Well, in November, Nina learned how to hand knit and I was faced with the prospect of long noodles of hand knitting accumulating all over the house. I suggested that Nina make necklaces and bracelets to sell at Market Day. Evan was nearby during this conversation and when he heard someone talking about earning money he perked up and had the idea to sell origami ninja stars. Arin rarely feels crafty, but he wanted to jump on the moneybag bandwagon so I suggested he collect small toys I really wanted to get rid of that were around the house and sell them. We all spent weeks stockpiling wares, talking about pricing, quality, supply and demand, and presentation. Basically we learned capitalism in a simple, age-appropriate nutshell. On Market day I dug out a festive table cloth, and brought a bean bag target so that 1. kids would have something to do with their ninja stars other than pelt each other, and 2. if people wanted to play the game they would have to buy a ninja star. The day was a success. All of the kids earned money: not enough to finance their college education, but not a bad haul for sales in the average kid market.