My Unpopular View on Adult Beauty Pageants

I recently read a blog post a woman wrote that expressed her revulsion for beauty pageants and connected them to most evils that were ever done to women. As a matter of fact the writing of women ragging on pageants is very plentiful on the internet. I just checked. The thing I was most interested in, however is an actual link between beauty pageants and violence against women, or low self esteem, or any negative outcome for women. I like proven facts. In this case, there appear to be very little proven connection between any of the above. I believe this is one of those cases where feminism has done women a disservice, limited their options and unfairly pitted women against each other. Let me elaborate.

1. If my daughter desired to be in a beauty pageant I would completely understand. As a matter of fact two good friends of my husbands' were in a pageant years ago and they had a good time buying new clothes, making new friends, and for a short time enjoying the limelight. It was fun for both women. Similarly, I could completely understand the draw my daughter would see in being able to buy new fancy clothes, do her hair and makeup and act like a superstar for an hour. She would also get to practice public speaking and hone a specific talent. What a unique experience! Neither I nor my husband would force her to, and we would be completely happy with whatever the outcome was. We would encourage her to do her best, just like in anything. Whether she chose to to it again would be up to her. Do I think she would be more likely to be raped because she participated, No. Do I think others might be raped because she participated, No. Do I think she would feel worse about herself if she participated, not if her father and I helped her understand her feelings if any self esteem issues came up, but I believe more than likely she would see the other girls involved in the pageant and realize that she had advantages over some and not over others. Just like all of us women see in real life. I don't think she will participate in a pageant and then suddenly fall victim to a high pressure world of constant pageant performance, especially if I am a responsible parent and help her understand society and her emotions. As far as parents who do pressure young girls to participate in the pageant circuit, I think there are many negative affects to that scenario on children, but those effects are as much related to the parental pressure as the pageants themselves. Also, I feel she would be most likely to be raped if I didn't educate her on male/female relationships, which leads to my second point.

2. If we expect society to teach our girls what to be proud of and how to act we will be disappointed. Society pays actors and models much more than humanitarians, and loves to publicize scandals. Our girls will have to be in charge of their own self esteem just like the rest of us. My daughter will have to choose to be happy, or dwell on her shortcomings, and I will have to show her how to do that. All of us fall somewhere on the beauty continuum, and we have to come to terms with that place, whether it is fair or not. Some of the aspects of our position we can change. We may choose to drop some pounds to help our appearance and our health, or try a new makeup to even out our complexion. We may not. Regardless, it is a choice we make, and it is something we can choose to work within or to obsess over. My job as a mom is to help my daughter navigate all of the input she is getting from the world, pageants included, and teach her confidence no matter what she hears and sees. The same applies to my boys.

3. One thing that is rather disturbing is that this attitude toward pageants and women who compete in them brings to light one of the negative aspects of womanhood. The fact that sometimes women hate beautiful women. I know that there are girls who look good who are lonely and hurting because others assume these girls have their lives put together just because their appearance is. It is a sad form of war against our own kind. We ought to be confident and proud of our own style choices and celebrate the fact that others are free to express themselves through fashion as well. If they rock an outfit better than we do, or use fashion to help them win a scholarship rather than just to clothe themselves for a trip to the store we should accept their freedom to do so.

Yes, the women do wear swimsuits, but pageants have tried to show other sides of women besides poise and fitness as well. We gloss over the fact that women in pageants are often talented, well-spoken, and care about philanthropy, all of which is usually displayed in the pageant. Pageants are not for everybody, and they are not an opportunity open to everyone. In our current equality loving state of affairs in America we tend to want to impose mediocrity on those who have too much potential for our own comfort. As a 5'2", ok-looking, thirty-something I am fully aware that pageants are not an option for me and I am good with that, GREAT, actually because the whole prissy makeup and hair-do part of the pageant is not my style. I think pageants present great opportunities to those who want to and can participate in them, however. Women need to take responsibility for their own self-esteem, teach their children to do the same, and let fellow women pursue their dreams, whatever they are.