Surprises

For those of you that I just keep forgetting to tell, we are pregnant. ( I surprised a lady in one of my home school groups, when she asked who was reading the pregnancy book on the table, oops). I am due in early October, meaning that it is possible this baby could share Nina's birthday (9/29). We had always said that if we happened to get pregnant again that would be fine with us, though we were not trying. We were very comfortable with our eight years of birth control success. This is actually the first child we are having that was not planned, which sort of threw our personal God-complexes for a loop. But now we are in the driver's seat again and very excited to meet our new one. Especially me, because I am not a very good pregnant person. I have been nauseous, but not as bad as with Evan and Nina. I am able to control it by snacking on what my body tells me to basically every other minute of the day. I am so sick of eating. It's not like I can have burgers or pizza. My body throws a conniption fit at the sight of them. Then I get completely scatterbrained: I forgot to buy bread, I lost my phone. Then get moody, and tired. Poor Todd has been such a good sport. He has cleaned the kitchen more often, made sure I got my naps, and gave up sex when I was completely exhausted.

We are planning a home birth. This time I am much better prepared than I was with Evan's. I think this midwife is much better than the one who did such a terrible job delivering Evan. My current midwife has 15 years of experience and has even delivered her own children. I just got done reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", and Ina May completely and very specifically addressed the difficulties that I had with both Evan's and Nina's birth. I wish I had that book earlier, but better late than never. I am determined to have this baby here, for financial as well as other reasons. I have been determined before and that, in and of itself, does not get the job done. With Evan's birth I was determined to show all of the people who said I was crazy to have birth without painkillers that I could do it. That didn't work, but I am more grateful that the hospital was available to give Evan the help he needed than ashamed that I didn't get my part of the job done. My mantra for this pregnancy and labor is "RELAX". Stress is something that, as I am learning to let go of tension and take deep belly breaths, I realize I live very little of my life without. Stress is my companion and motivator, which is why Todd has put my favorite songs on my phone so I can practice tuning out the world, and being calm. Wow, what an experience.

SNOW!!!

About once a year or so here in Raleigh we get snow, which is great for us. It started snowing at about 8 pm on Friday night, and when the kids and I saw it you would have thought it was Christmas. We went out immediately and ate some. Evan woke me up at 5:30 the next morning to see if he could go out in it, but mean Mommy that I am, I made him wait an hour. Everything closes down here. Seriously, we had less than 5 inches but it just sat on the street and turned from hard-packed snow, to ice and slush, to ice. Doesn't anyone salt the streets around here? If this was Wisconsin we would have been out and going the day of the snow, but here, 24 hours after the snow only the main roads were cleared from use, and we had to drive to Food Lion going 25 mph the whole way. Anyway we broke out the closest things to sleds we own (boogie boards in our case)and headed to the nearest hill. We saw people with pool toys and cardboard over there as well, since few people actually want to store sleds. Anyway, here we are.

Helping

Ever since I started to think and question as a teen I wanted to help others. I wondered who were the most in need and what I could do. In the course of that quest I have been actively involved in the pro-life movement, volunteered at a crisis pregnancy center, had a job as clothing room manager for the Milwaukee Rescue Mission women’s and children’s division, and went on a spring break trip to help a farming community recover after a flood. Those are just the things that come to mind in the few minutes I am spending writing. I say all that not to tout my goodness (you all probably know what a spectacular person I am, JK), but to qualify myself as a person who has seen many aspects of people and organizations who are trying to help others in the ways they see as effective. Some of my volunteer and work activities made me feel I was making a difference, some made me cynical and all of them have formed my opinion of the bad, better, and best ways of helping those who need it. Some of my views on this issue are not in the least politically correct, and one of these days I will spout all of my lovely opinions on the subject here on this page for all 2 of my followers to see.

In the meantime, I wanted to let you know about an organization I support that I think has a very effective view on how to help those in the world who can really use it. KIVA. I have supported three entrepreneurs through them, and I think their idea works. They don’t give hand-outs. They provide loans to people in many countries around the world who ordinarily would never have access to loans. These people use the money specifically to expand a business they already have taken the initiative to create, and then pay it back. Except in dire circumstances like post-earthquake Haiti, I believe giving others help with dignity is the best way to go long-term to help people and hopefully, countries prosper. The video below explains more about what KIVA is about.

My Awesome Kids

The other day I became overwhelmed with awe at my kids. The day started before I was awake with Evan, our early riser, getting up (probably at 6:00 or 6:30) and discovering that our one year old foster daughter was awake. My husband informed me that Evan got her out of her bed, closed the bedroom doors so as not to wake any other sleeping family members, and took her out to the living room. Then he got some toys out for her and played with her. This is not the first time he has done this. I have told the kids that for certain chores they do that I have not asked them to do they can earn money. I have offered Evan money for helping with the baby but he refuses it. Later that day I caught Nina changing the baby’s poopy diaper. I had previously showed her how so she does a good job at it, and enjoys the responsibility. Nina has begun taking pride in helping the girls decide on cute outfits, and changing them in the morning. She, unlike Evan, gladly accepts compensation. Then in the evening we went out to Golden Corral where Nina happily listed each family member to our waitress, including ages and parental first names. Then, she brought back a plate with pizza on it especially for our 2 year old foster daughter because Nina knew it was her favorite, and this was before Nina brought back a plate for herself. Arin fed the baby crackers and then gave her some of his drink. Then the kids went on a wild sharing frenzy, offering everyone at the table sips of their pop. Talk about a parent’s heart swelling with pride. Forget scoring a soccer goal, or getting a medal in a winter gymnastics show. I don’t care if any of my kids ever refer to anyone as Ma’am. It is these self-initiated acts of kindness and helping that tell me my kids are growing into the kind of people I want to infuse into society: the kind that will see a need and fill it.

The god that is Tim Minchin

Lately I have become infatuated with an Australian guy named Tim Minchin. I am not the only one so I am sure some of you may have heard of him. He is the kind of guy I would love to invite to one of our friend gatherings with his wife. He would have some fabulous contribution to the conversation and have the best definitions for Balderdash. It is hard to confine him to a category. He considers himself a musician apparently, though in all honesty his voice, while so likable, is relatively mediocre. Yet somehow I can’t get him out of my head. His song writing is wonderful, and I get chills when I listen to his artful, yet hilarious word combinations. Oh gosh it just turns me on to think about his vocabulary. He says things that I very often agree with, though he says it in such a lovely crass, would-never-enter-a-politically-correct-conversation sort of way. He specializes in talking about social issues, everyday life and religion, or the lack thereof, and he has a way of saying what I am thinking, but in public. Then he combines that with spectacular piano playing. He will even jump up and squash keys with his toes on occasion. His fingers completely make up for his vocal chords. In a somewhat similar sense what he lacks in the looks department he makes up for in eyeliner and hairspray. Then to distract the onlooker from lack of muscle elsewhere on his body he uses every facial muscle with utmost dexterity. I believe one reason my husband doesn’t mind my crush on Tim is because he knows that Tim doesn’t really have anything on him in the looks department. There would not be much advantage in shagging Tim. Tim is also happily married with two kids. What a fantastically paradoxical turn on. I have seen my husband experience the same catch-22 of being admired by women for his devotion to me. Nothing could distract me, however from the awe I experience when Tim puts together his words and his music. So I just had to share him.

Tim Minchin - Peace Anthem For Palestine - Watch more Videos at Vodpod.

Obsessing

Me and my sometimes obsession

Arin and his current obession

It’s not that a person’s vocabulary is tied directly to their value, but I do love the moment when my seven year old is praying before a meal and he uses “beautiful” correctly in a sentence…twice. I recently dusted off our ancient ornate-looking dictionary because Evan drew a picture for his daily journal and used the words “lego creations” just so he could look up the “c” word in it. Very exciting stuff to me. There are a multitude of reasons I love having my kids with me so much. One of them being encouraging thier vocabulary, and another the things I get to discuss with them at oddball teachable moments.

One such moment with Arin recently combined the two. Arin has sort of an obsessive personality and when he is interested in something it can consume him. This is what happened when he was introduced to the X-men. If you happen to have owned a Klingon dictionary, or have attended a convention wearing the clothing of your other personality you may understand this way of thinking. Arin could talk endlessly to anyone about this one topic. His spare time was rarely spent without his plastic superhero companions.

When I finished my marathon in November I found myself strangely physically attached to my finisher’s medal. It was hard to put down for the next week, and each time I rubbed it my face fell into a dreamy smile. I explained to Arin that I was obsessing over my medal, similar to the way he obsessed over the X-men. I got over the medal after the first week and began leaving it at home. Then one day a few weeks later I spied it again and it filled me with pride. I took it to the car and hung it from the rearview mirror as I was packing kids and snacks into the van. Fifteen minutes into our drive I heard Arin’s voice “Mom, are you obsessing, again?” I laughed and admitted to Arin that he caught me. He loved the attention of me retelling the story to Grandma and Grandpa so much that “obsessing” is now a permanent part of his vocabulary.

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

A while back I finished reading this book, and I have meant to share some quotes I found particularly meaningful from the book. The book was interesting to me, some parts more than others. I liked Robert Pirsig's insight into college-level education. Some of the transitions between real life and past life were somewhat abrupt, but overall I liked it.

Pg 114: He felt that institutions such as schools, churches, governments, and political organizations of every sort all tended to direct thought for ends other than truth, for the perpetuation of their own functions, and for the control of individuals in the service of these institutions.

Pg 146: You are never dedicated to something you have complete confidence in. No one is fanatically shouting that the sun is going to rise tomorrow. They know it's going to rise tomorrow. When people are fanatically dedicated to political or religious faiths or any other kinds of dogmas or goals, it's always because these dogmas or goals are in doubt.

Pg 187: Schools teach you to imitate. If you don't imitate what the teacher wants you get a bad grade. Here, in college, it was more sophisticated. Of course, you were supposed to imitate the teacher in such a way as to convince the teacher you were not imitating, but taking the essence of the instruction and going ahead with it on you own...

Pg 199: To live only for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain which sustain life, not the top. Here's where things grow. But of course without the top you can't have any sides. It's the top that defines the sides.

Pg 206: What he's looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn't want that because it is all around him. Every step's an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant.

Of course some of these quotes are controversial, but most of them make you think, whether you agree with them or not. If you find these intriguing you may want to check out the book. Keep in mind these quotes were little nuggets taken from among 418 pages of text. I did learn some about philosophy, and a bit about motorcycles, though since I have been riding on the back of my husband's for years, I had pretty good insight into that part.