Occupy

The day after Thanksgiving we avoided the stores, and went for the first time to Moorehead Planetarium, in Chapel Hill. We noticed, while driving around that Occupy Chapel Hill had setup camp right in front of the post office a block or so away from the Planetaruim. Todd and I thought it would be a great opportunity to ask questions of these enigmatic, but enthusiastic protesters. We informed the kids about the basics of the movement, the value of free speech, and encouraged them to formulate their own questions to ask the people involved in the protest. At the end of the day when we had time to glance at their literature and read their worn signs, there were few people hanging around to talk to. We wandered past a young man leisurely strumming a guitar and finally asked a few questions of an older gentleman, who seemed to have some strong personal opinions, but I don't know how well they represented the movement. I really don't know exactly what represents the movement best. In all honesty the first article I read about the movement seemed more entertaining than an onion article, and it took me a moment to realize the story was real.

I have a little experience with protesting. Back when I was a teen, there was a summer-long string of vibrant pro-life protesting outside of abortion clinics. The church I attended was involved, and I was very interested in protecting the rights of the unborn. I got rides to the protests, and held signs. I prayed and watched as those who were blocking clinic clients were arrested by police. I listened as angry members of the National Organization for Women yelled loud rhyming poems at us. I sang songs with other protesters. I felt I was part of something big, exciting, important and meaningful. I also saw things I found disturbing. One incident was particularly repulsive to me. Local TV cameras had come to film our protest that day and I saw a small group of people keep an eye on camera activity. When the camera turned to them they burst into fake tears, and started yelling phrases that might have come from the mind of an unborn baby. "Why do you want to kill me, Mommy?" and similar disturbing phrases pierced the air. Then the second the cameras were turned off the people became silent, brushed themselves off, and just stood there. At the time the thing that disturbed me the most was how those people were more focused on gaining media attention than being genuine.

I say this not to take a pro-life or pro-choice side and begin that polarizing debate. If you want my opinion about that I can get into it at another time. My point is that I am naturally distrusting of protests of any kind. I have seen first-hand that they are not always what they seem.

There are protests that do accomplish their intent. But if the people you want to get through to are so addicted to abusing capitalism that all they respond to is the almighty dollar, I don't think they will be intimidated by massive amounts of people who would rather gather and gripe than earn money. Todd had the great idea of beginning a website that posts all relevant information about companies for the public to see. If people are thinking of working with a company they can find out how much the CEO makes, how much they contribute to philanthropy, things like that. Such a website could possibly affect how the company is viewed in reality, and therefore, possibly directly influence how much money they make in the future. I think if people were really interested in blowing the cover on big business they would look into how big business works, what influences them, what could hurt them. To affect change in how businesses are run you need to speak their language.

Best of luck to you in the "Occupy" movement, but I sincerely hope it doesn't represent the best and brightest of those who want to bring accountability to the American financial sector. I agree on the need for change, and though it is not a cause I am choosing to spend my time on, I hope those that choose to address it find a more efficient means.

First Lego League

Evan had the awesome opportunity to participate in First Lego League this year. For those of you who don't know what that is there is really no short explanation. The theme this year was "Food Factor". This means that all of the Lego robot missions and the research project we related to food safety. The team began by assembling all of the components for the mission table. Then each team member had a chance to work with a Lego robot to accomplish a variety of missions to earn points. The team also did a research project about how to keep sweet corn safe from a specific type of fungus. We went on a field trip to talk to a farmer and one of the team members contacted a researcher in Oklahoma for more information. The team presented a skit as well as their robot runs at our local library as part of the league requirements. So not only did they get to build with Legos, they learned computer programming, writing, researching, public speaking, and teamwork. I have to admit I like the idea of Lego league as much as Evan does. We didn't win any awards this year, but the boys did a great job at their tournament and we are looking forward to next year.

Pink and Blue

Obviously I have kids. There are boys. There is a girl (and for almost two years there were girls). There are differences. I have heard many people with many opinions about the differences between the sexes. I have heard people with and without kids tell me that outside of physical differences there are no differences between the sexes. I think I understand where they are coming from. I think they are reacting to the idea that has been so pervasive that there are insurmountable differences between sexes. Women are not allowed to be strong and smart, while men are not allowed to be sensitive and nurturing. I sympathize. For many years growing up I wished I was a boy, because I felt like boys were respected, and I was not. I felt like boys were allowed to have opinions and I was not. Boys could do anything, interesting things, and I could not. I wanted nothing to do with being part of a sex that was so boring and limiting. If that was what was meant by "differences between the sexes" I would have thrown out the idea long ago. To some people that is still what the difference is: weak and strong, smart and dumb, hard and soft, yin and yang. In science, in real life, the differences are not so simple, not so stereotypical, but still very obvious.

I admit that my opinion is partially based on experience. My boys and girl are different, but not in a completely stereotypical way. In a perception way. As I have looked into the science of it everything makes perfect sense. Boy and girl brains are different in a real way. This does not so much make us fit a mold, but it affects how we perceive the world: how we process the information we get and how we disperse it. Also, every one of these differences is on a sliding scale. While most boys and girls perceive things in a certain way, there is a spectrum.

One idea is that the differences between the sexes are completely created by the environment. I think this is funny, actually. I have been told that since Todd and I have stereotypical roles in our family that it would be natural for my girl to be girly, and my boys to be boyish. It is true that my children will learn something about the world from the fact that I don't work outside the home, and many other things they see around them. But how did this influence the tendency my one year old has to play with wheels? He loves wheels. Stroller wheels, car wheels, toy wheels. He spins and watches, and spins. Wheels are typically a male thing to play with. Cory has had equal access to stuffed animals and dolls. He did play with a stuffed pig once. He picked it up and smacked the ground with it numerous times, but most often he does not find these toys interesting. He has also had access to many gender neutral toys, and he loves many of those as well. This preference for wheels was painfully obvious, and we did as we have done for all of our kids. When we pick up on an interest, we encourage it. Wheels it is, and Cory received a set of cars with nice wheels from Grandma for his birthday, which he loves. I am not aware of either Todd or I , or any of our other kids, ever playing with wheels around Cory. (The other kids are all playing video games these days) Where did he learn to love such a typically male thing like wheels? If you ask people who insist this gender difference is purely social I am sure they can come up with some type of explanation for you. If you ask a scientist, they will tell you they have seen that boys tend to prefer toys that move, to those that don't. They will tell you that boys tend to see the world in a slightly different way than girls.

Those of you who know my kids, know that Evan is Todd, and both of them have very few preferences that could be construed as anything but male (except for Todd's love of Celine Dion). That is who they are. Arin has preferences that are more balanced. He likes action figures, but he loves the female heroes. He plays superhero squad, but he also plays " let's go shopping for clothes" games. He doesn't like to wear dresses, but he does like his nails painted black and his hair long. That is Arin. Nina loves pink, though, now she is really developing that rock star edge. They all have different interests, but scientifically it is not their interests that separates their sexes, and that is what we as a society need to get over. Boy is not blue and girl is not pink. Boy is speaking in more noises than words as they learn to speak. Girl is taking in information to a brain that is more entwined and connected than a male brain. Girl is being affected by maternal hormones in a different way than men will never know. Boy is developing mentally at a different pace than girls.

The science is fascinating,but what I want to leave you with most is the value. I believe men and women are different, but I don't believe that can be narrowed down to a stereotype. We have been teaching Evan and Arin that all men are not Daddy. There are men who stay home with their kids, who dance and make art, and work in factories. But being a man of any kind is a good thing. We don't want either of them to wish they needed to be a different sex to express who they are. Likewise, I feel like some people judge me because I have chosen to stay with my kids and teach them. They feel like women meed to be strong and have jobs. I think women need to feel like we can do anything, including stay with our kids. Many women wish they could stay with their kids, but can't or don't for many reasons. I do think women tend to be more empathetic than men, but I don't think it is weak, and I think it would be a great quality for a world leader, if a woman chose to be one. I think we are more nurturing, but I think nurturing is vitally important in this world, and needs to be valued equally or more than the strength to plow the next guy over. I think people, including extreme feminists, have chosen to place great value on male traits, when society vitally needs all kinds of traits to be healthy. I think the answer is not making everyone into strong, tough, male-ish people, but elevating female traits to the place where they belong. We need nurturers, and empathizers if this world is going to continue. We need to get away from the idea that being different is bad, or exceptionally good, for that matter. Different just is, and we need to work with it. I think this is a perfect case of society limiting science. Science has discovered the truth, that males and females are different, even if that difference is minor, but society is so hung up on our social history, that it is limiting what we are allowed to know. We could be teaching to the strengths of both sexes, and encouraging intellectual advancement in this way. We could be educating parents about the specific, exact differences between the sexes since society doesn't seem to understand anything but pink and blue, thus encouraging generations of people who are comfortable with who they are even if they don't fit the stereotype. We could be showing everyone that there is more to life than the corporate ladder, because the truth is that both sexes value nurturing, and family, and people who value their families tend to have more satisfying lives over all.



These are all great links if you want to know more, but let me warn you they are just the tip of the iceberg. Scientists of all kinds are learning more about the brain all the time, and everyone has an opinion about the information coming out. As with many topics you can often find articles to confirm your personal biases. I am trying to be balanced.

Time Magazine article titled "Who Says a Woman Can't Be Einstein?"

"Why Gender Matters" website

City-Journal article titled "Can We Make Boys and Girls Alike"

Great Schools.com article titled "Girls' and boys' brains: How different are they?
I actually tend to disagree with this article, so those of you who don't like what I have to say may like it. I feel the evidence it sites is rather weak overall.


Blog entry referencing the Canadian child "Storm"
If you haven't heard about the case of "Storm" it is pretty interesting and you should totally read the link to the Canadian article "the 'genderless' baby". It is turning out to be a polarizing idea.

Loads of information on gender differences from Education.com