Nina got her chance to try out soccer at Evan's last team practice. Evan's coach and his family are very nice. Coach Brown even decked Nina out in Goalie gear to let her try different positions. She had a blast and we signed her up for her own team next season. She is going to give up gymnastics for soccer, but she is very excited about the switch. I have decided one sport or extra curricular activity per kid is enough for me. I know there are a couple kids on Evan's team that are in two or three simultaneous sports, but that is more than I want to take on. 
It's about time I let everyone in on some of the things going on with the kids who are actually out of the womb in our family. This was taken at India Fest. We took the whole family and met up with our friend Shubha who at the time had recently gotten back from a trip visiting her family in India. She took all of us around the festival and explained some of the culture to us. She also took Todd to the food area and told him what to order for us to try. She is a real asset to have as we try to help Arin learn about his birth culture. After eating the food, which was very good, the baby and I needed more so we left Arin with Shubha, and ran me over to Wendy's. I was feeling really bad by then, so I was so relieved to get my salad. We all enjoyed going, and I think Arin liked being the center of attention.
For those of you that I just keep forgetting to tell, we are pregnant. ( I surprised a lady in one of my home school groups, when she asked who was reading the pregnancy book on the table, oops). I am due in early October, meaning that it is possible this baby could share Nina's birthday (9/29). We had always said that if we happened to get pregnant again that would be fine with us, though we were not trying. We were very comfortable with our eight years of birth control success. This is actually the first child we are having that was not planned, which sort of threw our personal God-complexes for a loop. But now we are in the driver's seat again and very excited to meet our new one. Especially me, because I am not a very good pregnant person. I have been nauseous, but not as bad as with Evan and Nina. I am able to control it by snacking on what my body tells me to basically every other minute of the day. I am so sick of eating. It's not like I can have burgers or pizza. My body throws a conniption fit at the sight of them. Then I get completely scatterbrained: I forgot to buy bread, I lost my phone. Then get moody, and tired. Poor Todd has been such a good sport. He has cleaned the kitchen more often, made sure I got my naps, and gave up sex when I was completely exhausted.
We are planning a home birth. This time I am much better prepared than I was with Evan's. I think this midwife is much better than the one who did such a terrible job delivering Evan. My current midwife has 15 years of experience and has even delivered her own children. I just got done reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth", and Ina May completely and very specifically addressed the difficulties that I had with both Evan's and Nina's birth. I wish I had that book earlier, but better late than never. I am determined to have this baby here, for financial as well as other reasons. I have been determined before and that, in and of itself, does not get the job done. With Evan's birth I was determined to show all of the people who said I was crazy to have birth without painkillers that I could do it. That didn't work, but I am more grateful that the hospital was available to give Evan the help he needed than ashamed that I didn't get my part of the job done. My mantra for this pregnancy and labor is "RELAX". Stress is something that, as I am learning to let go of tension and take deep belly breaths, I realize I live very little of my life without. Stress is my companion and motivator, which is why Todd has put my favorite songs on my phone so I can practice tuning out the world, and being calm. Wow, what an experience.
About once a year or so here in Raleigh we get snow, which is great for us. It started snowing at about 8 pm on Friday night, and when the kids and I saw it you would have thought it was Christmas. We went out immediately and ate some. Evan woke me up at 5:30 the next morning to see if he could go out in it, but mean Mommy that I am, I made him wait an hour. Everything closes down here. Seriously, we had less than 5 inches but it just sat on the street and turned from hard-packed snow, to ice and slush, to ice. Doesn't anyone salt the streets around here? If this was Wisconsin we would have been out and going the day of the snow, but here, 24 hours after the snow only the main roads were cleared from use, and we had to drive to Food Lion going 25 mph the whole way. Anyway we broke out the closest things to sleds we own (boogie boards in our case)and headed to the nearest hill. We saw people with pool toys and cardboard over there as well, since few people actually want to store sleds. Anyway, here we are.
Ever since I started to think and question as a teen I wanted to help others. I wondered who were the most in need and what I could do. In the course of that quest I have been actively involved in the pro-life movement, volunteered at a crisis pregnancy center, had a job as clothing room manager for the Milwaukee Rescue Mission women’s and children’s division, and went on a spring break trip to help a farming community recover after a flood. Those are just the things that come to mind in the few minutes I am spending writing. I say all that not to tout my goodness (you all probably know what a spectacular person I am, JK), but to qualify myself as a person who has seen many aspects of people and organizations who are trying to help others in the ways they see as effective. Some of my volunteer and work activities made me feel I was making a difference, some made me cynical and all of them have formed my opinion of the bad, better, and best ways of helping those who need it. Some of my views on this issue are not in the least politically correct, and one of these days I will spout all of my lovely opinions on the subject here on this page for all 2 of my followers to see.
In the meantime, I wanted to let you know about an organization I support that I think has a very effective view on how to help those in the world who can really use it. KIVA. I have supported three entrepreneurs through them, and I think their idea works. They don’t give hand-outs. They provide loans to people in many countries around the world who ordinarily would never have access to loans. These people use the money specifically to expand a business they already have taken the initiative to create, and then pay it back. Except in dire circumstances like post-earthquake
The other day I became overwhelmed with awe at my kids. The day started before I was awake with Evan, our early riser, getting up (probably at 6:00 or 6:30) and discovering that our one year old foster daughter was awake. My husband informed me that Evan got her out of her bed, closed the bedroom doors so as not to wake any other sleeping family members, and took her out to the living room. Then he got some toys out for her and played with her. This is not the first time he has done this. I have told the kids that for certain chores they do that I have not asked them to do they can earn money. I have offered Evan money for helping with the baby but he refuses it. Later that day I caught Nina changing the baby’s poopy diaper. I had previously showed her how so she does a good job at it, and enjoys the responsibility. Nina has begun taking pride in helping the girls decide on cute outfits, and changing them in the morning. She, unlike Evan, gladly accepts compensation. Then in the evening we went out to Golden Corral where Nina happily listed each family member to our waitress, including ages and parental first names. Then, she brought back a plate with pizza on it especially for our 2 year old foster daughter because Nina knew it was her favorite, and this was before Nina brought back a plate for herself. Arin fed the baby crackers and then gave her some of his drink. Then the kids went on a wild sharing frenzy, offering everyone at the table sips of their pop. Talk about a parent’s heart swelling with pride. Forget scoring a soccer goal, or getting a medal in a winter gymnastics show. I don’t care if any of my kids ever refer to anyone as Ma’am. It is these self-initiated acts of kindness and helping that tell me my kids are growing into the kind of people I want to infuse into society: the kind that will see a need and fill it.
