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Waiting For Superman

My Journal

2/15/14


Today I don't want to be introspective. I want to just be superficial, which is kind of different for me, not in an arrogant way, just in a factual way. I thought it was interesting when I read an article about a guy who decided to follow Ben Franklin's schedule for a day. Ben left time for study and to deal with spiritual things. The author said he almost never did that, and it was an interesting thing for him to do. Thinking about big things like God and purpose and why we are here and doing research into those questions is something I grew up doing and something I do all the time. How can you not wonder about that? How can you just go through life and just go to work, come home, be with your someone, party sometimes and that is it. That is satisfying? Really? Don't you wonder about things as a whole? Don't you wonder why we are here or how, or do you just take science's or God's word for it and leave it at that. I guess in a way you could have more of your emotional energy available to fritter away on personal drama. That might be interesting. I know it is kind of a weight on me to wonder about my, and our purpose, to wonder what or who else is out there, and it is a huge itch I am just dying to scratch to see everything as it really is. I used to think I would just go to heaven and God would explain it all to me and I could live with that. Now I am not so sure I will ever know, and ugh, that is annoying.

But to live without that burden, to me is to live in a closet. To live in the small world of what I see now. I just need to get out into the air and breath and wonder, and make wild guesses and hope. So with that comes the burden of what I don't know, of making choices and just not knowing if they are the right ones because I can't have all the information. I can't see past death or into the new millennium, so I have to make some of my best guesses blind.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Let's go out for Dinner and a Philosophy Discussion

I have begun to really look forward to going to the philosophy meetup Todd organizes. In the past year I have begun to recognize the regulars, and I feel like I belong. This meetup is one reason it is wonderful to be married to a man with slightly different interests than me. He was a natural to go converse with philosophers. He is a deep analytical thinker, who can easily connect philosophies with their originators. I talk from experience and impressions. While I have done my best to gain experiences and expose myself to a variety of thoughts repeatedly so my impressions better reflect reality, the specifics of these are for the most part lost on me. I sputter back colloquial summarizations of what profound thinkers spent their lives perfecting.

Todd tried the group once, then as fate would have things work, he landed in charge. The group attracts women and men, a few young, and many more mature. There are software designers, professors, peace corp volunteers, authors, students, and me: the mother of three. We have covered the capital punishment, death, Eastern thought, the post modern economy (I did a lot of listening during that one, and I am still not completely sure what it entails).

Our last two meetups have been presented by Will Langley. He is a (rock star) um, student from the Baptist seminary in Wake Forest. He and his wife have had dinner with us a couple of times, and he is fascinating to talk to. His wife, Jen, loves our kids and I love anyone who loves my kids, of course. His destiny is to become a (rock star), I mean professor of philosophy one day, and I would love to be in his classes. Actually I have been, while eating a burger and fries at that. His first meetup was about transhumanism, or, could machines take over the world by becoming alive? Will brought a multi-media presentation with lots of condensed facts about machines, their capabilities, what leading thinkers had to say about the possibility of their potential humanity, and a spot of goofiness. He isn’t really a musical rock star, but he wowed our group, not just with facts, but with great contemporary humor and determined objectivity. We all loved the presentation, which is why he came back on Monday to introduce us to quantum physics.

I have never known the origins of quantum physics on such a workable level. I had heard about infinite worlds, and that all possible scenarios exist, quite a fantastic theory, but I didn’t know very clearly where that came from. He brought us back to the original light wave/particle duality experiment that began the stir and took us from that point to the possibilities that could exist if there really were more to science than could meet measurement. We learned about Einstein’s discomfort with the philosophical implications, (“God does not play dice with the universe” after all) and he introduced us to a few of the many theories that try to explain such an inconsistency in science. Then we all spouted our own insight amongst ourselves. Most people don’t go to these meetups if they don’t have opinions they are more than happy to share.

I have my opinions, though on some topics I am struck by my utter unworthiness to express them. I love to put in my two cents, but I also love to steal away with the knowledge I gain from the people I meet there. For example not only did I learn about quantum physics, but I learned how a children’s book author finds an illustrator, and a little about how a professor goes about funding her research. I just get chills thinking about how I am broadening my horizons. Does that mean I’m a nerd? I guess excitement as knowledge and rock star as philosophy professor are not signs of a very hip mind.

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