Occupy

The day after Thanksgiving we avoided the stores, and went for the first time to Moorehead Planetarium, in Chapel Hill. We noticed, while driving around that Occupy Chapel Hill had setup camp right in front of the post office a block or so away from the Planetaruim. Todd and I thought it would be a great opportunity to ask questions of these enigmatic, but enthusiastic protesters. We informed the kids about the basics of the movement, the value of free speech, and encouraged them to formulate their own questions to ask the people involved in the protest. At the end of the day when we had time to glance at their literature and read their worn signs, there were few people hanging around to talk to. We wandered past a young man leisurely strumming a guitar and finally asked a few questions of an older gentleman, who seemed to have some strong personal opinions, but I don't know how well they represented the movement. I really don't know exactly what represents the movement best. In all honesty the first article I read about the movement seemed more entertaining than an onion article, and it took me a moment to realize the story was real.

I have a little experience with protesting. Back when I was a teen, there was a summer-long string of vibrant pro-life protesting outside of abortion clinics. The church I attended was involved, and I was very interested in protecting the rights of the unborn. I got rides to the protests, and held signs. I prayed and watched as those who were blocking clinic clients were arrested by police. I listened as angry members of the National Organization for Women yelled loud rhyming poems at us. I sang songs with other protesters. I felt I was part of something big, exciting, important and meaningful. I also saw things I found disturbing. One incident was particularly repulsive to me. Local TV cameras had come to film our protest that day and I saw a small group of people keep an eye on camera activity. When the camera turned to them they burst into fake tears, and started yelling phrases that might have come from the mind of an unborn baby. "Why do you want to kill me, Mommy?" and similar disturbing phrases pierced the air. Then the second the cameras were turned off the people became silent, brushed themselves off, and just stood there. At the time the thing that disturbed me the most was how those people were more focused on gaining media attention than being genuine.

I say this not to take a pro-life or pro-choice side and begin that polarizing debate. If you want my opinion about that I can get into it at another time. My point is that I am naturally distrusting of protests of any kind. I have seen first-hand that they are not always what they seem.

There are protests that do accomplish their intent. But if the people you want to get through to are so addicted to abusing capitalism that all they respond to is the almighty dollar, I don't think they will be intimidated by massive amounts of people who would rather gather and gripe than earn money. Todd had the great idea of beginning a website that posts all relevant information about companies for the public to see. If people are thinking of working with a company they can find out how much the CEO makes, how much they contribute to philanthropy, things like that. Such a website could possibly affect how the company is viewed in reality, and therefore, possibly directly influence how much money they make in the future. I think if people were really interested in blowing the cover on big business they would look into how big business works, what influences them, what could hurt them. To affect change in how businesses are run you need to speak their language.

Best of luck to you in the "Occupy" movement, but I sincerely hope it doesn't represent the best and brightest of those who want to bring accountability to the American financial sector. I agree on the need for change, and though it is not a cause I am choosing to spend my time on, I hope those that choose to address it find a more efficient means.

First Lego League

Evan had the awesome opportunity to participate in First Lego League this year. For those of you who don't know what that is there is really no short explanation. The theme this year was "Food Factor". This means that all of the Lego robot missions and the research project we related to food safety. The team began by assembling all of the components for the mission table. Then each team member had a chance to work with a Lego robot to accomplish a variety of missions to earn points. The team also did a research project about how to keep sweet corn safe from a specific type of fungus. We went on a field trip to talk to a farmer and one of the team members contacted a researcher in Oklahoma for more information. The team presented a skit as well as their robot runs at our local library as part of the league requirements. So not only did they get to build with Legos, they learned computer programming, writing, researching, public speaking, and teamwork. I have to admit I like the idea of Lego league as much as Evan does. We didn't win any awards this year, but the boys did a great job at their tournament and we are looking forward to next year.

Pink and Blue

Obviously I have kids. There are boys. There is a girl (and for almost two years there were girls). There are differences. I have heard many people with many opinions about the differences between the sexes. I have heard people with and without kids tell me that outside of physical differences there are no differences between the sexes. I think I understand where they are coming from. I think they are reacting to the idea that has been so pervasive that there are insurmountable differences between sexes. Women are not allowed to be strong and smart, while men are not allowed to be sensitive and nurturing. I sympathize. For many years growing up I wished I was a boy, because I felt like boys were respected, and I was not. I felt like boys were allowed to have opinions and I was not. Boys could do anything, interesting things, and I could not. I wanted nothing to do with being part of a sex that was so boring and limiting. If that was what was meant by "differences between the sexes" I would have thrown out the idea long ago. To some people that is still what the difference is: weak and strong, smart and dumb, hard and soft, yin and yang. In science, in real life, the differences are not so simple, not so stereotypical, but still very obvious.

I admit that my opinion is partially based on experience. My boys and girl are different, but not in a completely stereotypical way. In a perception way. As I have looked into the science of it everything makes perfect sense. Boy and girl brains are different in a real way. This does not so much make us fit a mold, but it affects how we perceive the world: how we process the information we get and how we disperse it. Also, every one of these differences is on a sliding scale. While most boys and girls perceive things in a certain way, there is a spectrum.

One idea is that the differences between the sexes are completely created by the environment. I think this is funny, actually. I have been told that since Todd and I have stereotypical roles in our family that it would be natural for my girl to be girly, and my boys to be boyish. It is true that my children will learn something about the world from the fact that I don't work outside the home, and many other things they see around them. But how did this influence the tendency my one year old has to play with wheels? He loves wheels. Stroller wheels, car wheels, toy wheels. He spins and watches, and spins. Wheels are typically a male thing to play with. Cory has had equal access to stuffed animals and dolls. He did play with a stuffed pig once. He picked it up and smacked the ground with it numerous times, but most often he does not find these toys interesting. He has also had access to many gender neutral toys, and he loves many of those as well. This preference for wheels was painfully obvious, and we did as we have done for all of our kids. When we pick up on an interest, we encourage it. Wheels it is, and Cory received a set of cars with nice wheels from Grandma for his birthday, which he loves. I am not aware of either Todd or I , or any of our other kids, ever playing with wheels around Cory. (The other kids are all playing video games these days) Where did he learn to love such a typically male thing like wheels? If you ask people who insist this gender difference is purely social I am sure they can come up with some type of explanation for you. If you ask a scientist, they will tell you they have seen that boys tend to prefer toys that move, to those that don't. They will tell you that boys tend to see the world in a slightly different way than girls.

Those of you who know my kids, know that Evan is Todd, and both of them have very few preferences that could be construed as anything but male (except for Todd's love of Celine Dion). That is who they are. Arin has preferences that are more balanced. He likes action figures, but he loves the female heroes. He plays superhero squad, but he also plays " let's go shopping for clothes" games. He doesn't like to wear dresses, but he does like his nails painted black and his hair long. That is Arin. Nina loves pink, though, now she is really developing that rock star edge. They all have different interests, but scientifically it is not their interests that separates their sexes, and that is what we as a society need to get over. Boy is not blue and girl is not pink. Boy is speaking in more noises than words as they learn to speak. Girl is taking in information to a brain that is more entwined and connected than a male brain. Girl is being affected by maternal hormones in a different way than men will never know. Boy is developing mentally at a different pace than girls.

The science is fascinating,but what I want to leave you with most is the value. I believe men and women are different, but I don't believe that can be narrowed down to a stereotype. We have been teaching Evan and Arin that all men are not Daddy. There are men who stay home with their kids, who dance and make art, and work in factories. But being a man of any kind is a good thing. We don't want either of them to wish they needed to be a different sex to express who they are. Likewise, I feel like some people judge me because I have chosen to stay with my kids and teach them. They feel like women meed to be strong and have jobs. I think women need to feel like we can do anything, including stay with our kids. Many women wish they could stay with their kids, but can't or don't for many reasons. I do think women tend to be more empathetic than men, but I don't think it is weak, and I think it would be a great quality for a world leader, if a woman chose to be one. I think we are more nurturing, but I think nurturing is vitally important in this world, and needs to be valued equally or more than the strength to plow the next guy over. I think people, including extreme feminists, have chosen to place great value on male traits, when society vitally needs all kinds of traits to be healthy. I think the answer is not making everyone into strong, tough, male-ish people, but elevating female traits to the place where they belong. We need nurturers, and empathizers if this world is going to continue. We need to get away from the idea that being different is bad, or exceptionally good, for that matter. Different just is, and we need to work with it. I think this is a perfect case of society limiting science. Science has discovered the truth, that males and females are different, even if that difference is minor, but society is so hung up on our social history, that it is limiting what we are allowed to know. We could be teaching to the strengths of both sexes, and encouraging intellectual advancement in this way. We could be educating parents about the specific, exact differences between the sexes since society doesn't seem to understand anything but pink and blue, thus encouraging generations of people who are comfortable with who they are even if they don't fit the stereotype. We could be showing everyone that there is more to life than the corporate ladder, because the truth is that both sexes value nurturing, and family, and people who value their families tend to have more satisfying lives over all.



These are all great links if you want to know more, but let me warn you they are just the tip of the iceberg. Scientists of all kinds are learning more about the brain all the time, and everyone has an opinion about the information coming out. As with many topics you can often find articles to confirm your personal biases. I am trying to be balanced.

Time Magazine article titled "Who Says a Woman Can't Be Einstein?"

"Why Gender Matters" website

City-Journal article titled "Can We Make Boys and Girls Alike"

Great Schools.com article titled "Girls' and boys' brains: How different are they?
I actually tend to disagree with this article, so those of you who don't like what I have to say may like it. I feel the evidence it sites is rather weak overall.


Blog entry referencing the Canadian child "Storm"
If you haven't heard about the case of "Storm" it is pretty interesting and you should totally read the link to the Canadian article "the 'genderless' baby". It is turning out to be a polarizing idea.

Loads of information on gender differences from Education.com

Young Man Evan, and Minecraft

Evan was a creeper (from Minecraft) for Halloween. He has been a video game character for Halloween every year since he was three. As a side note Arin was Saber Tooth and Nina was a teen Rock Star/Vampire (notice the eye-roll, perfect with her costume, don't you think?)

Evan is beginning to do that growing up thing where you can't just throw a lego kit at him for his birthday, and make him jump for joy. (Ironically, though, you can still give him cardboard and make him excited, go figure). Now he is entering older kid territory. He is obsessed with Minecraft, but he already bought a minecraft guy, so now there is no expense. There is no obvious way we can spend money to buy his happiness. What do we do? Todd thought about buying Evan a program so he could make youtube videos of his minecraft experience, but then he realized it was free. We thought about buying him a headset with a microphone so he could record the videos, then we realized we already owned one. So Evan's birthday came (Hence the Minecraft cake-type conglomeration). He had a great party where a few friends brought over their own computers. Everyone interacted in the virtual world and the real world simultaneously, yelling across the room, while mining in the same cave on the computers. But Evan never unwrapped a present or from us or asked for one, until about a week later, when Evan realized he didn't get a present. I mentioned that Daddy had intended to set him up to make a video, and Evan held Dad accountable. The video happened, and I think both Evan and Dad were equally excited. Evan, because he could share his love of Minecraft, and Dad, because, since Evan will probably not be a motocross superstar, there is still a chance he could make a fortune making youtube videos. In real life we are all proud of Evan. Also in real life we know very well that some of the best things in life are free or intangible things. That is why Nina's present was a trip to Greensboro, along with her pair of cool shoes. Evan's gift included time with Daddy, which the kids always value, and as a bonus, the record of that time will live on in the form a video intro to Minecraft.



PS. Whatever your motives, Notch, thanks for creating a game that inspires my kids to creativity and teamwork, even if it is addicting.

Desert Rose

Lots of people feel alone as teenagers. They are misunderstood by their parents, and have trouble fitting in at school. I felt alone, too. The primary culprits in my situation were introverted parents and religion. If you know me you know what a nerd I am about certain things, and it has always been this way. Back when I was a teen, I wasn't into drugs, smoking, drinking, sex. I had personal daily devotions. My biggest critique of the other Christians around me was that they did not live their beliefs. Not even my parents were as diligent with their quiet times as I was. My parents wanted me to hang out with Christian friends, because we shared belief in God. I wanted to hang out with my secular friends because we shared similar morals. My Christian friends were drinking and partying (not that my parents knew this), whereas my secular friends were either not doing those activities, or were perfectly open to my not doing them. I know that I had a good life, then. I had my own room, I had food, I wasn't mistreated. I was a good girl, and even the "rebellious" things I did were really laughable. I asked questions, I "ran away" once, but since I didn't have friends to hang with, and I didn't feel like sleeping in a field in the cold, I didn't last more than a few hours. I snuck out to a pg-13 movie and a battle of the bands. What a trouble maker. My parents didn't understand that I was a good girl, and, partially because of my actions, and partially because I was a girl in a family with an archaic gender value system, I was the black sheep. So this song became my theme. I would blast it in my room, and sing and dance to it. It moved me. I knew God would one day reward me. My time would come when I would have friends, love, and a full satisfying life that would make a difference. I have that life now, though it doesn't look like I would have imagined it then. God has rewarded me, though my concept of who or what that is has evolved a great deal. I thank God daily for what I have, because I feel a deep need to express gratitude somehow. This song is still special to me because I remember the time when I felt God was the only one who really knew me. I don't know what I would have done at that time without my idea of who that was then.

Environmentalism as Religion

I love Earth. I think it is a great place to live, especially since I don't know of any other "Class M" planets within a reasonable distance to compare it to if I wanted to escape it. In reality though, I have as cushy a life as I could ask for, and I would love to ensure the same for my children and theirs. So I do care about the environment in the sense that I don't prefer worldwide annihilation within the next few generations. I teach my kids to pick up their trash. We have changed to compact fluorescent bulbs. We fill up the recycle bin. We re-use paper. Taking care of the earth is very nice at that involvement level. Many people worldwide however, have turned environmentalism into something entirely different, however. It would mean little to me if this only affected random far-spread cults. I see this belief system in people I meet daily, however, and I think that this perspective on environmental issues can hurt the earth, and science as a whole. The problem is clearly laid out in Michael Crichton's video, and also in this article by Robert Nelson, and this short blurb from the New York Times

My main point against environmentalism as religion is this: to truly solve a problem as complex as helping the earth to stay clean and life-supporting, we need to be able to pursue solutions that are truly beneficial in every aspect. In its present state, the environmental, sustainable movement, is so ensnarled in popular opinion, politics, and merchandising, that no one can get a clear idea of what is truly helping and what is hurting. Politicians say the right environmental thing so special interest groups will continue to fund them. Grocery stores and construction companies continue to sell high priced alternative items that say they are good for the environment, and people continue to ease their conscience by sacrificing a bit of extra money for what they consider to be the greater good. Maybe they are better for the environment. Where money is involved how can we know for sure? How environmentally conscious a person is has become an easy measure of their value in society. The problem becomes very apparent when huge amounts of money are sunk into technologies that are lovely in theory, but amount to crap in real life. I absolutely think we should be thinking about alternatives to all the fuel we consume, but if solar power in its present state is not a viable alternative we should be allowed to acknowledge that. If we are better off as far as money, pollution and waste is concerned, throwing plastic bottles in a landfill rather than trying to recycle them, or deluding the public into thinking they are being recycled, the environmental religion will not allow us to say so, lest we be black balled and proclaimed planet-haters or something. For science to work well: for real advancements to be made, we must be allowed to speak the truth. We must be allowed to be creative and think of things that would truly help on all levels. I think buying fewer plastic bottles, especially water bottles, would absolutely help the environment on most levels. Recycling them after I use them? I don't know if it is truly viable. Solar power, wind power, hydro power, these are all very nice thoughts, and they are all very good ideas, and in certain circumstances, like Hoover Dam, for instance, they work very well, but for these great ideas to be brought about into truly useful technologies we must be able to be honest. Solar and wind power are really in their infancy, and a lot of work will need to go into making them truly useful on the large scale. Possibly so much work that we would be better off trying to make the electronic devices we use more efficient first.

The truth is at stake if we believe every banana peel we put in the compost bin will save the earth. The truth is what will lead to real solutions, and no dogmatic, organized, unquestioning group of people will ever be able to absorb the sometimes messy, unbecoming, contradictory things that surface when one truly wants to know the truth. No religion likes too many questions, and without hard questions we won't get real answers.

A Day at The Track

A few weekends ago, on a gorgeous Sunday we finally made it the dirtbike track again. Todd had us ready with four working dirtbikes. That was quite a feat in itself. Mine had been suffering a perpetual flat tire a while back. Todd's bike badly needed some serious "tweaking" (my official mechanical word for whatever they did to tune it up), and training wheels on the smallest bike so both Nina and Arin could ride, if they wanted to. Evan hopped on his bike when we got there and pulled his usual shift, riding every moment we were at the track, and then just conking out in the car the minute he stopped riding. Nina ran a couple of laps around the nice flat parking lot since we were able to beat the rush for a few hours. We encouraged her to try the new flat track and she refused, about ready to quit for the day. In the meantime, Arin got his turn. He is not afraid of much, so he dove right into the flat track. I ran (he told me I was a good runner, what a sweetie) with him and gave him some tips his first time around. After that it was smooth sailing for him. While he was riding Todd and I were encouraging Nina to give it another shot. The spill she had when she first got on the bike over a year ago was still haunting her. I told her the story of my first spill, and how I got back up and tried again (making me the accomplished rider I am today ;) ) She was not convinced. Arin moved over to the mini-track, which has hills and turns that are fun, and great for kids who have ridden a little before, rookie teens and beginning adults who are not too proud to join the kids. Finally, Nina got back on the bike, after that the rest is history. She got going, and we just about had to pry her hands off the handlebars to give Arin a turn. She was the last to quit for the day (about one second after Evan).

I got on the track very soon after we got there, as well. I hate traffic. It was my biggest concern going on a beautiful day like that day. It is not that the other guys on the track are rude, or mean to me. They all have been very polite in the half a second they are in my presence as they whiz by me. It is just that I don't always know where to be. I very much don't want to impede them, and I don't want to have to adjust my run. It is all I can do to concentrate on getting where I think I have the best chance of not biting the dust. My worry was in vain on this day, however. I had the track to myself at the beginning, and I needed it. It had been a year and a half since I had been on that bike. I had a baby in the meantime. It came back to me, though, and lucky for me, there was no mud (I hate mud, too!) and the track was in great shape. I had fun. Riding the bike does not really coincide nicely with the neural pathways I have formed up to this point, but I swear I am formulating some new ones. Now the way my brain sees riding the bike looks nothing like bike riding in the brain of someone who takes to this naturally, and does well at it. My brain sees it more as a what-the-heck-is-she-doing-and-how-do-I-survive-this-wierd-circumstance pathway. But it is exciting to ride when I do it right, and satisfying when I plunk the bike down after catching some air, which I actually do on occasion. Todd laughs at me, and he makes no comment, but he does answer my questions when I have them, and takes care of my bike when I don't know what's wrong. I think this is perfect behavior from a man in this case.

Speaking of my man. He got his turn, and he tackled the big track, humbly commenting on the other guys that jump higher than he does. Oh, stop already. He was finally happy with the performance of his bike, which is probably the first time in years my perfectionist guy has had a satisfying experience on a bike he owns. He said he enjoyed himself more than he had in a long time, which is no small feat for a guy as intense as he is.

So, in short, it was a perfectly awesome day at the track.